I wish I wasn't still keeping up with this blog in this vein. I wish I could tell you that now my son has turned back to God and that he's doing well living a Godly, Christian, heterosexual lifestyle, that he's fulfilling the will of God in his life and that he's happy living as a Christian man, maybe even a married man with a child on the way. Sadly, I cannot say any of that...YET. You see, the final chapters of his life, or any of our lives for that matter, have not been lived out yet.
It's been almost 3 years ago now, 3 tomorrow to be precise, since the closet door blew off. I say it blew off because that's what it felt like to me at the time. There was an explosion of atomic proportion that detonated in my living room that Monday afternoon. I knew something was awry. Hindsight is indeed 20/20. However, I didn't know all that I would face in the coming years. I didn't foresee my heart being ripped out then stomped by my own child. I didn't see him replacing family with other "friends". I thought we could continue to be close. I thought he would continue to value God's Word. I thought he would live an otherwise moral life. Wrong, wrong, wrong!!! My wise friend was correct when she said that it was like he came out of a tunnel and was free, and I was then drug (kicking and screaming no doubt) into that tunnel. Thank you CM for that wise tidbit. I indeed descended into a darkness while my son was out and free and "happy". He continues to proclaim his "happiness". I continue to proclaim that my God is faithful and He ALWAYS keeps His promises. No matter how dark this tunnel gets, God is my light at the end, at the beginning, and in the middle of the darknesss. He's always there, always for me, and always waiting with arms open wide for my son to return. I believe that he will return one day. I pray it's not another 3 years, 3 months, 3 days, or even 3 seconds.
The story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18 has come to my attention several times over the past few weeks. It was IN the THIRD year of the drought that the Lord told Elijah to go tell the king that there would soon be rain. Elijah had to send his servant 7 times before he finally saw any evidence of what Elijah believed in faith that the Lord had told him. In verse 44, it says that he saw a cloud only the size of a man's hand. Then soon after seeing the evidence of his faith, it began to rain, a hard rain, a terrific rainstorm, a drought-ending rain!!!!!* I believe this is the year that the spiritual drought ends!! That passage has come up too many times. I see a cloud in the Spirit. I certainly don't see it in the physical yet. What I see with my physical eyes is depressing and disturbing. My family is divided. Another thing I thought I'd never see, and that's not God's will either. God wants families and lives restored. The enemy wants us to believe that the institution of the family as we know it, as God set forth, is out of date and old fashioned. He's a liar and the father of lies. God is Truth and Love. The Bible says that nothing can separate us from the love of God.** God still loves our children. He loves us and our families. Our mission is to take that love of God into the world. The enemy's mission is to use any means possible to prevent just that.
Keep looking to God for strength and hold on to your faith.
“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.”
Hebrews 10:23 NLT
*Coming Out of the Drought - Steven Furtick https://youtu.be/1qd1ANmJMFE
There is a Cloud by Elevation Worship https://youtu.be/MOKXYe0a4MY
**“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39 NLT